It’s been a couple of weeks since I was last on the bike. That’s not to say I haven’t been active—I’ve just chosen to walk instead of cycle. The reason for that is fairly straightforward: when it comes to cycling, I currently can’t leave the house. That’s partly a personal choice, whether for safety or other reasons. Walking, on the other hand, allows me to get outside, breathe some fresh air, and take a break from the computer.
There’s another reason I’ve wanted to be outside. I recently changed jobs, and I knew that in the transition period between my previous role and my new position, I needed to maximise my time outdoors. I wasn’t sure how much exercise I’d be able to fit into my routine once I started the new job.
A Quick Word on the Ride
I’ll quickly touch on the ride because there’s more to say about what’s been going on off the bike than on it.
For this session, I picked up a Pace Partner ride on Training Peaks Virtual. Nothing wrong with it—I just wanted to do an hour at a fairly light pace, and this ride ticked that box. One of the things I really enjoy about Training Peaks Virtual is the customisation aspect. A feature that really helped on this ride was the ability to turn off the chat.
I just wasn’t feeling very sociable, and reading chat messages wasn’t something I wanted to do. While it’s obviously a personal choice to ignore them, I find that when you’re pedalling for an hour and there’s a steady stream of messages appearing on the screen, it can be hard to block them out mentally. Thankfully, Training Peaks Virtual has a menu option to disable chat entirely. It might seem anti-social, but I needed that quiet space. I wasn’t in the mood for reading, listening to music, or even having any kind of fun, really.
I’ll get into that more in a second, but overall, I just switched off the chat, plodded along, and got the session done. When the hour mark hit, I was as done as I wanted to be. There’s really nothing to write home about with the ride—it was nice to get some time on the bike, I suppose, but beyond that, not much to say.
Prioritising Outdoor Time
Whilst I haven’t been on the bike in the last couple of weeks, I have been walking a lot, which has been nice. It’s obviously lower intensity, so I’ve been trying to fit in a couple of hour-long walks each day where I would have been riding for an hour. In my mind, a two-hour walk is roughly equivalent to an hour to an hour and a half of cycling.
I’ve been exploring some local routes as well as venturing a bit further afield, but the weather hasn’t really been good enough to justify heading up into the fells. I did go up Rivington, which is a local hill. It’s fairly high—probably a few hundred metres—but it feels very gentrified, with lots of well-maintained paths. I think it’s been deliberately developed as a recreational hill rather than something that naturally evolved as a climbing challenge, if that makes sense.
When I got to the summit, there was a van parked up with the engine running, and a couple of council workers inside having a cigarette. There was also a dog running around. It completely killed the atmosphere. A couple nearby had clearly hiked up for a picnic, and I mentioned to the guy that the whole scene really ruined the vibe—he agreed.
It pretty much summed up everything that feels wrong with the country at the moment. Anyway, more on that to follow.
The Mental Weight of It All
Now, I don’t know if it’s just me or if how I’m feeling is something more widely shared across the country at the moment. Maybe it’s just the time of year—we’re in the heart of winter, it’s very cold, and the weather hasn’t been great. On the plus side, it hasn’t rained too much in the last few weeks, but it’s still cold both outside on walks and inside the house.
Obviously, heating is expensive, so keeping the house warm isn’t always an option. That’s definitely weighing on my mind—everything is expensive and only getting worse. On top of that, I got hit with a massive tax bill at the end of January, which was completely unexpected. I assumed I was paying all my tax as part of my wage, but apparently not. That wiped out all my savings.
Meanwhile, all my projects are either completely flat or declining. And then there’s the job change—not something I wanted, but I was only allowed to work at my previous role for a maximum of two years before I had to move on due to some strange policy. I really enjoyed the work, the team, and the engineering culture there, so leaving was frustrating.
I was offered a permanent role, but I declined because the pay difference was about £35,000 a year. Staying on would have meant losing that, and unfortunately, that’s just not something I could afford. I doubt many people could. It’s a real shame to have had to leave, and now I’m starting somewhere new, unsure if I’ll even like it. It’s only a short-term contract anyway, and frustratingly, it’s for less money per day—so it’s pretty much the worst of all worlds.
If I try to look on the bright side, at least it’s work, and at least I wasn’t without a job between roles. That’s something. But honestly, I don’t think any of this is doing my mental health much good.
Wrapping It All Up
Anyway, to pull this all back together, that hopefully explains why I’ve been out walking rather than doing indoor workouts. I just needed to get outside, get some fresh air, and try to clear my head. I’m not entirely sure it’s worked, but I do think that spending two weeks maximising my time outdoors has to be more beneficial than staying inside. Sure, an indoor workout might be more efficient and technically better for fitness, but mentally, I think I made the right decision. Honestly, if I had to do it again, I would. Probably to the detriment of my fitness, but I’d rather be physically weaker and mentally stronger. Hopefully, that makes sense.
This blog post has been a bit of catharsis, obviously. I know it’s a bit rambly, a bit waffly. I don’t feel like I’m in a great place at the moment. Frustratingly—though maybe frustration isn’t even the right word—I don’t see the future as particularly bright. And I don’t just mean that for me personally, but more generally. I don’t know how I can personally improve the situation, and I don’t see that the wider situation is going to get better anytime soon either. So yeah, not great.
This isn’t one of those upbeat blog posts where I say everything’s brilliant. Far from it. I don’t think I’m depressed, but I don’t think I’m too far from there either.
For the week ahead, I’m going to try and get in at least half an hour on the bike, three days a week. I don’t really have much more choice than that, but I’m definitely feeling the pressure of the new job. Finishing each day mentally drained, I’m not exactly looking forward to another full week of it, if I’m completely honest.
That said, I think I’ve only got about eight weeks left on this contract. So regardless of whether it’s great or not, at least it’s not long either.